Dr. Awful's Excellent Point

I'm making use of this week in New York, going to all the yearly doctor's appointments and such. So, I'm waiting in the doctor's office, and there's some lame fear-mongering show on the television: Dr. Oz is all in a tizzy, trying to warn us about potential bioterror attacks.

Excellent.

Now, I've never seen this Dr. Oz, but he seems totally lame, unimpressive and kind of smarmy, and he had already covered the first two forms of potential attacks (bubonic plague, as symbolized by a cage with rats in it, and anthrax, as symbolized by some white powder in a bag) when he gets to the next topic, which is totally relatable!

Botulism and other food-related diseases, as spread by our centralized food system. And suddenly, I'm totally captivated by this guy and his three vapid guests. Because e. coli, for example, was spread through tomatoes sold at supermarkets, affecting the entire nation, because they all came from the same tainted location, whereas farmer's markets were blissfully unaffected. And the e. coli found in peanut butter? Same thing!

And not only that, but due to food laws, the government isn't even allowed to warn you about which companies produced the tainted food (this could be slander, you see), so we are currently relying on the companies themselves coming clean about any problems with their products. This doesn't seem to be an effective way to protect ourselves against food problems, whether it relates to bioterrorism or not.

In decentralizing our food system, we not only get to partake in local culinary delights, but we can, as ordinary Americans, be protected from bioterrorism! Thanks, Doc!

(note: obviously anyone as bland as Dr. Oz didn't actually propose radical decentralization, but merely more monitoring, which is really not the solution in my opinion. What do you think?)