Constructs and Criticism

I have been following the British Petroleum oil disaster that happened recently, and it is getting pretty scary how much human demand is seriously screwing things up. I mean, I don't want to turn into one of those super angry environmentalists that burn out early, but this is just getting ridiculous.

So, I made up my mind that in order to take a "small step" in becoming a better ecological citizen I need to boycott BP gasoline. That was until a good friend of mine I hadn't seen in a while called me up and begged me to drive to Cincinnati to spend some time with him. Now, as an environmental leader, is it the best use of my remaining fossil fuels in the gas tank to drive 80 miles to see a high school buddy? Probably not. I told myself that seeing a long-time friend was worth that little over a quarter tank, so I made the trek north. I hadn't yet noticed that my tank was sitting at exactly over a quarter tank left. As I reached the Cincinnati city limits, I hear the empty tank warning beep and the light come on the dash. "Time to get gas," I thought to myself. I literally drove in circles trying to find a gas station, cussing myself for not filling up before hitting the interstate. When I finally found one, I became very irritated and almost ashamed: the only available gas station within safe distance of my car not running out was none other than British Petroleum. Angry that I felt I had no other choice, and mostly angry that I could have prevented this whole situation by paying better attention to my car. Or better yet, angry that I chose to spend my time driving to see a friend rather than staying home and saving gas (and possibly tackle the mounting laundry pile).

I pull up at the pump, slam my car in park, ripped the keys out of the ignition, and slammed the door even harder as I got out to fill up. As I stood there pumping gas I realize that while I have this righteous attitude about BP's practices, I am currently contributing to the reason why the spill happened in the first place.

Earlier, I felt helpless and stuck in the social construct that aids in the perpetuation of society's "downward spiral." Post-epiphany, I see that all I had to do was stay in Lexington in order to do my part in curbing the addiction. I didn't have to drive to Cincinnati, I didn't have to forget gas before I left after I decided to go, and certainly didn't have to drive a vehicle (truck) that uses that much fuel in the first place.

What I learned from this experience is that while it was fun to see an old friend, it may not have been worth the internal moral struggle. How does one go about their daily lives without getting bent out of shape? How do I go about seeing people in my life (much LIVE your life) without conflicting with my attempted behavioral changes constantly? I preach the importance of not staying upset all the time, but I cannot help from simmering about the things that bother me personally.